My apologies to our readers who have wanted an update, or haven't had anything to read because I haven't posted. ;) J/k We do not have a working computer any longer, and phone internet just doesn't cut it to post a blog. Especially one that I have written! Ha ha ha ha! Anyway, I will sum up the past 3 weeks the best I can.
It has been both a shock, and surprise to be back home. We told anyone who would listen we would NEVER come back, and yet, here we are. We have been staying with Angel's parents which has been fairly good and uneventful. There will always be tension here at points because they are my in laws... which basically makes me the OUTLAW! ha!
The girls are doing wonderfully, and have fully adapted to being back with family, and being loved on and spoiled! They are definitely being overwhelmed with hugs, kisses and play time with their favorite auntie since we are here. It makes my heart happy to see them happy, and though emotionally I am still struggling, they have definitely been the light of our time here so far. It was so hard seeing them miss their grandparents and other family, knowing that was missing and know I couldn't do anything about it, but I am happy to say, they aren't missing that anymore. Though they do talk about their friends from home (Nashville) quite often.
Angel started work at a company called Medline, as of Wednesday this week. August 1, we will have a house to live, and our rent will be about 1/3 of what we have normally paid, something we see as God's provision for our lives so that we can be freer to not only live and be a family, but also frees us up to do ministry a little more without the stress of heavy financial burden weighing over our heads. Bet you were dying to know all of that! (sarcasm) Now on to the important stuff.....
We have shared our vision and heart for this city with basically anyone who would listen, and while people listen to what we have to say, and seem supportive, we have yet to have anyone want to join with us to prayer walk, or go into the city and be relational. However, I am confident that God will use that to his glory still, and we have some things in the works for out reaches and etc.... as well as a planned trip to the homeless under the bridges in the next few weeks.
Two weeks ago, we went to one of our old coffee shops we used to hang out at, and the barista who was working late basically professed his addiction to looking at women to me. I am not sure why, except it was Gods way of helping me to see the spiritual temperature of the city. A lot of my friends and acquaintances seem like they are not as into God as they were, or have stayed the same the entire 3 years we have been gone. I have always been a believer that we need to be growing in our faith and love of God, never becoming stagnant. If we become stagnant, we lose our saltiness, and if we lose our saltiness how do we become salty again?
I look on Stockton with new eyes, because now I see the work that needs to be done, but I have a heavy heart because it seems that no one is willing to be apart of the change that needs to happen. There are so many spiritual strongholds here, how do we begin the task ahead of us? Especially when the enemy is so quick to ensnare with distractions as he likes to do? I confess that I have been overwhelmed with depression at having lost a place so dear to me, and having left so many dear people behind. God in his mercy, loved me back to reality and I realized what I had allowed to happen, so with fresh eyes and renewed hope we are pressing forward.
Next week I start a women's discovery bible study with some ladies who are very special to me, who have been hurt irreparably by former churches. I am very excited about it first of all, because I am excited to get back deep in the word with others, and also because I know that this is Gods orchestration and I trust his leading. It came at the right time, and I am looking forward to what he has in store for these beautiful women that I have grown to love so much.
Things we need prayer for:
Firstly for the City: The sovereignty and majesty of God would be seen and known, and that Stockton would begin to come to Christ, on the street and off the street.
That one of the ladies I am praying for would allow us do a discovery bible study in her house.
That a young women my friend has been ministering to, would come to Christ..I believe she is muslim. She has heard the gospel, several times but she just wont make the decision.
That the hurt women who come to this study would find healing and restoration during our study of scripture and fellowship together.
That the spiritual and occultic bonds of Catholicism would be broken in many households here, Catholicism is main religion here, and we are fighting and praying for everyone we know to have a personal relationship with Christ not in expanding a religion.
That the bonds of pornography addiction in this city would begin to tumble, in almost every gas station you can buy porn magazines, even though there are 5 adult book stores that I know of, and a strip club which is a main attraction on weekends.
That the bonds of witchcraft would begin to break, and that the witches here would be rendered powerless, so that the works of evil against this city would stop.
That the murder rate, and crime rate would continue to go down, as people find renewed hope and community.
Selfishly, Angel and I need prayer to stay strong, to stay positive, and to stay kind. There is an oppression here that I can't really put my finger on. It occurs on the road with the complete lack of respect between drivers, in the stores, etc... I have a hard time keeping a smile on my face, and being sweet when people are soooooo rude and angry. I really want to reflect the love and light of Jesus, but it literally feels like it is going to have to be supernatural.
On a related note, a Catholic priest recently said that if someone helps us they can't take communion because we are not actually married, and we are sinning since we didn't get married in the Catholic church. Even though the bible says we are married, and the state says we are married.
And lastly, but not least.... a working computer would be great, old, used, whatever.... as long as it works, I don't mind. We need it for ministry and school purposes only.
Angel and I love and miss all of you! Thank you so much for your prayers, and please feel free to stay in contact with us! We would love to hear from you! If you face book message me, I can give you our contact info for email, phone calls, or snail mail. We love our Nashville family! Praying for God to increase your numbers, and that others would see the light and love of Christ through you, all through Nashville.
Sincerely,
The Esquedas
