STOCKTON MISSION BLOG 3: Home is where the.. whoa.. what happened?

     My apologies to our readers who have wanted an update, or haven't had anything to read because I haven't posted. ;) J/k  We do not have a working computer any longer, and phone internet just doesn't cut it to post a blog. Especially one that I have written! Ha ha ha ha! Anyway, I will sum up the past 3 weeks the best I can.

              It has been both a shock, and surprise to be back home. We told anyone who would listen we would NEVER come back, and yet, here we are. We have been staying with Angel's parents which has been fairly good and uneventful. There will always be tension here at points because they are my in laws... which basically makes me the OUTLAW! ha!

             The girls are doing wonderfully, and have fully adapted to being back with family, and being loved on and spoiled! They are definitely being overwhelmed with hugs, kisses and play time with their favorite auntie since we are here. It makes my heart happy to see them happy, and though emotionally I am still struggling, they have definitely been the light of our time here so far. It was so hard seeing them miss their grandparents and other family, knowing that was missing and know I couldn't do anything about it, but I am happy to say, they aren't missing that anymore. Though they do talk about their friends from home (Nashville) quite often.

           Angel started work at a company called Medline, as of Wednesday this week.  August 1, we will have a house to live, and our rent will be about 1/3 of what we have normally paid, something we see as God's provision for our lives so that we can be freer to not only live and be a family, but also frees us up to do ministry a little more without the stress of heavy financial burden weighing over our heads. Bet you were dying to know all of that! (sarcasm) Now on to the important stuff.....

        We have shared our vision and heart for this city with basically anyone who would listen, and while people listen to what we have to say, and seem supportive, we have yet to have anyone want to join with us to prayer walk, or go into the city and be relational. However, I am confident that God will use that to his glory still, and we have some things in the works for out reaches and etc.... as well as a planned trip to the homeless under the bridges in the next few weeks.

        Two weeks ago, we went to one of our old coffee shops we used to hang out at, and the barista who was working late basically professed his addiction to looking at women to me. I am not sure why, except it was Gods way of helping me to see the spiritual temperature of the city. A lot of my friends and acquaintances seem like they are not as into God as they were, or have stayed the same the entire 3 years we have been gone. I have always been a believer that we need to be growing in our faith and love of God, never becoming stagnant. If we become stagnant, we lose our saltiness, and if we lose our saltiness how do we become salty again?

     I look on Stockton with new eyes, because now I see the work that needs to be done, but I have a heavy heart because it seems that no one is willing to be apart of the change that needs to happen. There are so many spiritual strongholds here, how do we begin the task ahead of us? Especially when the enemy is so quick to ensnare with distractions as he likes to do? I confess that I have been overwhelmed with depression at having lost a place so dear to me, and having left so many dear people behind. God in his mercy, loved me back to reality and I realized what I had allowed to happen, so with fresh eyes and renewed hope we are pressing forward.

       Next week I start a women's discovery bible study with some ladies who are very special to me, who have been hurt irreparably by former churches. I am very excited about it first of all, because I am excited to get back deep in the word with others, and also because I know that this is Gods orchestration and I trust his leading. It came at the right time, and I am looking forward to what he has in store for these beautiful women that I have grown to love so much.

    Things we need prayer for:

Firstly for the City: The sovereignty and majesty of God would be seen and known, and that Stockton would begin to come to Christ, on the street and off the street.

That one of the ladies I am praying for would allow us do a discovery bible study in her house.

That a young women my friend has been ministering to, would come to Christ..I believe she is muslim. She has heard the gospel, several times but she just wont make the decision.

That the hurt women who come to this study would find healing and restoration during our study of scripture and fellowship together.

That the spiritual and occultic bonds of Catholicism would be broken in many households here, Catholicism is main religion here, and we are fighting and praying for everyone we know to have a personal  relationship with Christ not in expanding a religion.

That the bonds of pornography addiction in this city would begin to tumble, in almost every gas station you can buy porn magazines, even though there are 5 adult book stores that I know of, and a strip club which is a main attraction on weekends.

That the bonds of witchcraft would begin to break, and that the witches here would be rendered powerless, so that the works of evil against this city would stop.

That the murder rate, and crime rate would continue to go down, as people find renewed hope and community.

Selfishly, Angel and I need prayer to stay strong, to stay positive, and to stay kind. There is an oppression here that I can't really put my finger on. It occurs on the road with the complete lack of respect between drivers, in the stores, etc... I have a hard time keeping a smile on my face, and being sweet when people are soooooo rude and angry. I really want to reflect the love and light of Jesus, but it literally feels like it is going to have to be supernatural.

On a related note, a Catholic priest recently said that if someone helps us they can't take communion because we are not actually married, and we are sinning since we didn't get married in the Catholic church. Even though the bible says we are married, and the state says we are married.

And lastly, but not least.... a working computer would be great, old, used, whatever.... as long as it works, I don't mind. We need it for ministry and school purposes only.

Angel and I love and miss all of you! Thank you so much for your prayers, and please feel free to stay in contact with us! We would love to hear from you! If you face book message me, I can give you our contact info for email, phone calls, or snail mail. We love our Nashville family! Praying for God to increase your numbers, and that others would see the light and love of Christ through you, all through Nashville.

Sincerely,
The Esquedas

STOCKTON MISSION BLOG POST 2: Do you really want to know?

            Sunny beaches, palm trees and breezy days full of warmth and movie stars.

        Isn't that what you think of when you hear "California?" As we poured out our hearts for missions, you may have even thought how convenient it was that God would call us to missions in the vacation capital of the world besides Florida, however......

                                                                         let me paint you another picture. 

         In Stockton, summer days are like walking outside into a furnace, which is wonderful if you love heat, I however do not like 100 + degree weather with no breeze. It is not uncommon to hear of someone finding a homeless person expired. Usually from heat exhaustion or dehydration. With intense heat comes less clothes and decency, and also less courtesy from the average person. Not that the majority of the population has decency for one another anyway.

      Several times I have gone to the store, or gotten gas and accidentally locked eyes with someone, which was usually immediately met with a hateful look or colorful comments, referring to me as a female dog because I happened to accidentally glance in their direction. This has also been ground for shootings, because someone got angry that someone else was "mugging them" (giving a distasteful glance)

      The gang violence is worse as days go by because with Stockton being bankrupt, they are incapable of paying all of their police force. They have laid off many state employees, and many cops, so much so, that it seems as if there is a homicide on a daily basis in Stockton, if not several. Parties are no longer a place of safety, (or fun) as fights break out and people end up dead. Same with bars, and clubs... the only activity there seems to be for native Stocktonians. 

      The year we left, someone was stabbed several times at the DMV, and my youngest brother lost several friends over the course of a couple years to random shootings and etc..

 

     At any time of day, as you drive down Wilson Way (best known for the prostitutes that walk up and down it) there are prostitutes out, and during the night some of them migrate under the bridges. There are several bridges in Stockton, all filled with tents, boxes and mattresses where homeless people set up residency and try to get by day after day. 

 

        You cannot go to the grocery story, gas station, auto zone or etc... with out being asked for a hand out. Angel and I tried to counter that with bibles, and bottles of water but they need so much more. Its a growing problem that doesn't seem to get better. There doesn't seem to be programs in place that can actually counter the  homelessness issues in Stockton.

       Its a city where Iphones are more important than basic neccessities, where everyone competes with everyone else and materialism is a religion. There are some who are poor, just trying to get by, but the majority of those who say they are poor say it because they cant buy the newest phone, latest electronic etc.....

      Minus the homeless, the real poor, the real lack is the spiritual poverty that has encompassed the city as a whole. The majority of the churches teach materialism, and everyone seems to be okay with it. The majority of the churches teach prosperity gospel, when in reality, our Jesus and the Christian gospel was the opposite of that. So that's the city we go to. Not a vacation property, but an angry, spiritually lacking, culturally diverse and desperate city.

      With all that being said, there are people in Stockton whose fierce loyalty to Stockton makes them good people, tough, but good. Some of my dearest friends are there, and I can only hope that somehow I can unite them, and share the vision of evangelism and house church planting in the City. 

      Our plan of attack is already in place, we have been praying night and day for the right hearts to be opened to us as we begin our mission in that city. We have been praying that God has been laying the foundation and preparing the doors that will be opened as go back.

     We know that perfect love casts out all fear, and the only one that can bring perfect love is God, and if we do not go in the spirit of power that he gives us, than we are lost. We will never see change, and there will never be hope. However, we trust him. We trust his heart, and his heart is that none would perish but that ALL would come to repentance. 

If God can deliver the Israelites

If God can part the seas

If God can heal cancer, dying children, broken relationships and broken hearts...

If God can draw us to him in all our disobedience and selfishness and rebellion...

and If God can die on a cross.... in human form, rise from the dead and keep the balance of the universe in his hands....

Then God can redeem a city.... he can turn around the perversion and the anger and the apathy that has settled its way into this place, and he can bring forth a harvest of people who will love him and serve him with their hearts. People who will not allow Stockton to be unchanged. I believe this will be the beginning. I believe he has so much more in mind! and I pray for it! I pray for REVIVAL! I pray for REVOLUTION! I pray for HEART CHANGE!

Please dont shrug your shoulders, or close this blog without allowing God to stir your hearts, if you do nothing more this day than pray for your relatives or family... just add Stockton to that list. Pray that God will do something great and mighty, and so wonderful that no one else but Jesus could take the glory. 

Love you guys... see you in a few weeks. <3

STOCKTON MISSION BLOG 1: The Call, The Journey ....by Angel and Angie

  " You MUST be crazy!"
 "Why would you move across the country?"
 "What is there for you over there?"

       Believe it or not, these were some of the questions we faced as we left our home far behind us, so far behind us, it took 5 days to reach our new destination, but reach it we did. Three kids, a van, and a trailer later we started our new life in Nashville. That was THREE years ago, and I swore up and down and all over the place I would never go back home.

Stockton.

Rated most miserable city in the USA the year we moved, 2010
3 years running was also top 5 most dangerous city in the USA
Number 1 in our US for downloaded porn, witchcraft and satanism.

We came to Nashville, with Stockton like a dirty word we dare not say, for fear it would make us have to go back. We felt grateful and relieved that we no longer lived there. Happy to be in a place that had our favorite thing as its national symbal. MUSIC!. oh, how we loved music, and how thankful we felt to God for delivering us from the darkness. We were in our promised land, (Or so I thought.)

Since that moment, 3 years have gone by. We have fell in love with Nashville and its people, but now God has put another passion on our hearts. CHURCH PLANTING. Not just any Ol' run of the mill plant a church, watch it grow, get some money, plant some more...

Nope.... we are talking REAL, IN YOUR FACE, HOUSE CHURCH PLANTING!
With Real people, and a real God, who does real things and communicates with us on such a intimate level, that he would actually tell us to take that new passion and go right back to Stockton.

WOAH!!! Say WHAT?? you want me to go where???
Nope.
I like it here, Im staying...
What did you say God? WE are the ones for the job? NOPE! I DONT WANNA!

I think Angel and I actually stomped our feet in indignation about going back.
Here we are though, two weeks later.

You know what I realized? Nashville (though i love it) is not our promised land.
STOCKTON is.
LUCKY US!!!
Not.

Remember when the Israelites' were led to their promised land? They wandered 40 years in the desert before they were allowed to go in. 40 years!!! Can you imagine!!??????? Then after entering, they had to trust that God would go before them, and defeat the giants and the people who were on the land, and they were some scary people!!!! But God did. He defeated them, and he gave the Israelites' the land he had promised them.

We have only been here in Nashville for 3 years, so that has to be a good sign, but that also tells me.... GOD goes before us. He will give us Stockton!! We will have to trust.... we will have to face some scary giants... and we may have to stand up, with our knees knocking, until we feel like we are going to pee... but the LORD is the deliverer, and I trust, and claim by faith.... that we are going to turn Stockton around and the GLORY of the LORD will penetrate and change the hardened hearts that are there as of right now!

  " You MUST be crazy!"
 "Why would you move across the country?"
 "What is there for you over there?"

It's only been 3 years, and we are hearing these words all over again.

But as the song goes...

 " I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind... the God of Angel armies, is always by my side."